iDLg v.6

my birthday was june 23, of course, Q pride was june 24th, so u know, no point telling anyone..

     Though sometimes, i get so put out by that fact, cause i for once would like people to notice me before they notice the queer in me..umph!

    I did get a private meal, made just for me..and I was definitly flatered by the gift.  Especially, since I didn't deserve such genoristy.

thanks Peggy and Donna, you both made me feel so special.

    I received e-mail from the last 'white' guy, i tried to date, which didn't turn out well, seems he is still thinking of me..though that don't mean shit to me..cause when i do think of him; i only seem to get more angry at the crap he put me through..

    I for once would like to be free of my depression; the thing is i won't go see a professional, nor am i willing to be medicated for depression no how..so i keep making self healing attempts, with my the one medication i'm willing to pay for, weed;

thing is, my depression is hinged by money issues, as well as self esteem and anxiety about my future.

 Like I was listen in to Ben Harper for the first time..and he had this song..about..let me see how did that go.. (man, for sure Harper is not the best ting to listen to when your depressed, cause his shit is so very depressing..and sad..almost everything he sings is the blues..in a folk format..

GLORY & CONSEQUENCE

I'm more afraid of living
than I am scared to die
I'm more afraid of falling
than I am of flying high
Every moral has a story
every story has an end
every battle has its glory
and its consequence
I'm more afraid of loving
than I am of being scorned
but I will keep on trying
though I have been forewarned
Every moral has a story
every story has an end
every battle has its glory
and its consequence
I would rather me be lonely
and you have someone to hold
I'm not as scared of dying
as I am of growing old.
Every moral has a story
every story has an end
every battle has its glory
and its consequence

 Wait,

   the root of my depression lies in my constant revisiting the past and comparing myself to someone or something that really does not matter; of which i had no control, yet feel I somehow should have done better, or different..

that and the fact that I think my shit boils down to to two main issues love and money;
1 Timothy 6:10  Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.

     in case you're wondering, Johnny Burrito is for real, 301 S. Tryon Street  • Charlotte NC  • 704-371-4448  • Open Mon-Fri: 11 AM - 3 PM..i've never been there, but this place Charlotte, keeps coming back up in my world of words..my ex, is from that area of the world as well as that last white boi, i fuck'd around wit..go figure..

    but i do dig the inscription on the bill, Let Agency Be Love in Action..definitly my way of life..

     I spent the last week blog trip'n..esp., any thing black and queer..i actually got off on quite a number of them..perhaps, i have a small standard for blogs, for the most part personal..then i feel i'm actually reading some'ting..  I admire the way some cats keep their blog informative and current..like they really spend some quality time with it..cool; now i have the time in a way, just not the motivation..cause news hunting and blogging it is like a full time job..

  like   Brooklyvegan which is really great for current indie music mp3s..but not gay..and definitly not black..

  like  His Daily Variety which is a cute concept these two cats have going but I often don't agree with their rather middle class, black queer attitude..they are cute and funny.

   like Rod 2.0 Beta which is very good about current events..i like reading his stuff if only for the slight shade he does inject..

    like Taylor Siluwe which is better at queer (of color) related news, esp., fag bashing stuff and weird political stuff..i guess all politics are weird to me..

     like DaDoo-Dirty Show a podcast with a black queer DJ, well you could also check out my podcast if you like that kind of focus..

me..i'm at..idlg's Podcast but my mixes are only for the brave and the true music lover..otherwise you would never be able to forgive me for the stuff i throw together..he, hehehe, he he ..

I'm so frustrated that the man (boi) i would be so thrilled to meet and greet, and date..is so remote from me..except for pictures..which we trade back and forth..besides the fact that he's just a child and our thing would never work no how..but a guy can dream..right..? well in my case night mare since i'm so very frustrated already..

but i love to draw him..and i love the things i find him doing in his pictures..and he is such a talented artist himself..gosh, why haven't i met him here where i am now....

I have joined a pen pal project, hehehehehe,

it's with the building Bloc people..BuildingBloc is a collective of artists dedicated to using art to explore the social inequalities in our society. Through experimentation, collaboration, and performance, we inform, provoke and inspire ourselves and our audiences. We aim to spark dialogue, to create and sustain relationships between artists and community organizations, to support existing struggles for social justice, and to erase the boundries between art and activism.

  beautiful, ain't he, maybe it's the photo too, cause it imparts so much extra dialouge..and the fact that his skin is so shinny..someting about bright shinny brown skin..so nice..

who's on my ipod..lately..well since i started down loading Bit_torrents

BitTorrent is a peer-to-peer file sharing (P2P) communications protocol. BitTorrent is a method of distributing large amounts of data widely without the original distributor incurring the entire costs of hardware, hosting and bandwidth resources. Instead, when data is distributed using the BitTorrent protocol, recipients each supply data to newer recipients, reducing the cost and burden on any given individual source, providing redundancy against system problems, and reducing dependence upon the original distributor.

Amy Winehouse________________FRANK

Ben Harper________________________________LIVE FROM MARS

Erykah Badu_________________________BADUIZM

Kano__________________________________Live in Amsterdam

Solomon Burke___________________________NASHVILLE

Richard Villalobos_________________________SALVADOR
Chilean-German electronic music producer and DJ

Lilly Allen_________________________________ALRIGHT, STILL

Toni Braxton________________________________lIBRA

Wooden Wand______________________jAMES & THE qUIET
As conjecture and lore is all there is, I’ll just tell you what I know.  Wooden Wand AKA James Jackson Toth AKA one of the underground’s more enigmatic figures, has done an admirable job keeping his self-made myth just that, colorfully obscured, a hybrid psych-seed spread amongst a number of imaginative projects leaving little space for question or evaluation.